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The Wall Street Reform Bill vote on Thursday was missing one of the most auspicious members of the Senate. Sources in Washington have revealed that absent from the vote was Senator Robert Byrd.
“We thought maybe someone forgot to bring him out from the cloak room before the vote,” commented one White House reporter.
However, after an exhaustive search of the Congressional grounds most concluded that Byrd had decided to start his weekend a bit early.
We caught up with him at the villa he rents in Mexico. “I just couldn’t sit through another one of those votes,” Byrd said as he sipped on a Margarita. “Besides these weekends are what has kept me going for the past fifty year’s in Congress.”
H.R. 4173 (Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act of 2009 )easily passed the Senate without Senator Byrd's or Senator Arlen Specter.
Republican Senators Brown (R-MA), Grassley (R-IA)& Snowe (R-ME), hopeful not to be thrown by the wayside voted to support the Legislation that will do nothing to prevent future bailouts of financial institutions, but only increases federal control.
Some are speculating that Senator Specter still upset that his party threw him out on his backside during the Senatorial primaries, may have jumped on the same plane with Senator Bryd. So far, we have yet to confirm that report.
Upon further investigation we have learned that a law was quietly passed in 1999 allowing Byrd to receive vacations every weekend for the rest of his life, paid for by our taxpayer dollars. Perhaps the secret to Byrd’s longevity in Congress is due to something special in the water here. Now only one question remains, where will Byrdie spend Memorial Day Weekend?
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